A new year, A new head start? I dun think so...

Tis year is my form5. And i tot i was prepared for tis whole year. But im not. Juz coz of im not happy. Coz of she make me sad and hurt me. Haiz

She's reli heartless. Last time she's so nice to me. Will jokes and laugh and sayng me. Now nth. Even a Good Night sometimes. Im reli sad and disapointed to see her like tat. She ask me to juz be frens wif her. I spend my last 4years loving her and change myself for her. Now she juz wanna be frens. I asked her why? She said its not time to have a bf. Then i asked her its coz of SPM? She asked me to give her a 100 reason for her why she nid a bf.

GOSHHH!!! I got so upset abt tat msg she sent me. If u love a person do u ask tat person to give u a 100 reason for u weather if u nid a bf or gf? ZZZ
Haiz..sometimes when we sms. We can chat till very nice. But i dun feel happy. Coz i keep thinking tat she's not mine anymore. Im nth to her. Im reli sad and i scare abt the tot inside my brain.

I feel tat i hate her or angry her but after tat i realised tat i still love her. Im reli confused abt tis relationship. I reli wish God or any1 or her can tell me wat she wanna do wif tis relationship. Sometimes when i think of her i wanna write a blog abt my feelings. But i juz dk where to start or wat to write.

God..
Why is love so painful and suffering?
Why humans have to love and get hurt after tat?
Why humans have feelings?
Why sad stays so long inside ur heart and happy juz passes by so fast? I reli nid help...
TT^TT

Weird holidays =]

Lately din go work le..juz stay at home take care of didi lor. Sometimes reli bored. But lazy write blog..lols. Nowadays reli less sms le. Oso nobody find me. Hmm..she became more happy wifout me. Her cousin come back from Aus they had alot of fun. Im reli happy for her. Its been a long time tat i din see she so happy le lols..missed those times when we can talk nicely and jokes.

But last nite she hurt me agn. Her cousins went to Sibu for few days. She told me tat day. But i kinda 4got wat is the date when they go Sibu. Then i ask agn. And she get mad wif me. She say dun repeating the same questions. I dk wat wrong wif her. But i think i din do anything wrong. But at the end i accept my fault. Coz If she wants it to be my fault then i accept it. I told myself its ok. ITs not the 1st time =[

Asking the same question oso wrong? I juz 4got the date. Juz wanna care and ask. Now asking oso wrong. Maybe next time looking at u oso a crime. Maybe next time i wanna find u oso wrong. Totally not logic..hiaz.

I knw all these years i din do much for u. I always quarrel wif u. I accept the fault. All i wan is for u to be happy. I knw i dun have any chance le. But my heart is reli strong. I still hold on then the last hope. U hurt me so much and say so much hurtful words to me. I dk why i still go find u and smile to u. I wan to give up. But i cant 4get u.

If i can trade my life to take away the pain. I reli would. TT^TT
Maybe u juz treat love as a game bah. Maybe im stupid to believe so much =[

Broken Heart =(

Tat day my lover ask me juz be frens bah. I ask her why..she said she is getting sick of tis relationship. She dono she is ripping my heart out. I admit i dunwann accept her decision. I was feeling so sad and she juz take it like nth happen. Im So dissapointed in her.

I am so blur and i dono wat to do. When i miss her. i dun dare to find her. I scare i get hurt agn TT^TT
Haiz..tats all i dono wat tosay le.

Hope she give me a second chance T.T

Nth changed T^T

Yestuday i find my lover in sms. I tot few weeks din find her. She would change her bad attitude. But i tot wrong. Nth change =[
Yesturdya i reli sad..reli kek sim. She make me sad and hurt me juz by her actions and words. It reli hurt. T_T Piggy i reli still love u moh ='[ I juz cant find the feeling back. Pls dun fang qi on me hao ma? Help us find the feeling back pls TT^TT

Piggy, i knw u wanna study..i din force u tat u must be wif me now ma. i juz wanna love u and us both loving and caring moh. I reli scare tat when u form5 cant get good result and ur parents will think is me make u get confused and cant study well. T.T
I knw i fat le..and u think im not handsome. I oso din study well. But all i can give u is my love. Why piggy dun appriciate ne? piggy make willie reli sad knw?

If piggy think she dun have feelings for willie le and willie is not ur type juz tell me bah =(
Maybe like tat i can knw wat u wan. Now u dun tell me aynthing is like "throwing me in a big jungle and din give me any idea when some1 is gonna safe me or how to get out myself. U din give me any weapon or food" T^T

Piggy come back hao ma? dun be stabborn le moh =(
Come back to willie k? wuwu T_T
Willie miss uu~~~
wuwuwu~~
urh urh T-T

missing you

I din find her for 2 weeks le bah. She never send me msg or find me oso. Not even fb msg..hmm =[
Im begining to miss her T.T Sometimes i think of her my tears drop =[

Reli pek cek T_T

I juz read my lover's blog. I knw lately u r stress abt ur results and exam. Im sori tat i make u more stress. U still say my name in ur blog. Why? U reli changed alot. juz u cannot see ma. Last time u will jokes and sweet talks wif me. and sayang gud nite to me. Even we r in far distance and we din go pakto or wat. We oso feel happy. But after a few months. U seem like getting tired of me. Then u slowly stop everything.

U even stop the feelings tat u have for me. I reli sasd..u and me r 3 years plus de lover. Maybe for u is juz a puppy love. But i took it serius. I treat u like my mum told me how to treat a wife. But u keep putting a rock in the middle or the road tat we're walking.

since all those years i been try to make things better. I try not to lose u. No matter how bad we quarrel. I still will find u and say sori. But why u have to be so hen xing? U knw i love u and u still hurt me like tat. Im scare of love le. i scare to love so much and tat person wont appriciate T^T

Ur birthday is almost here. I juz wanting to plan a birthday by going wif u nia. Then u come and put the rock in the road agn. Its HEAVY!!! I cant move it myself u knw!!?

Friday afternoon..i went to Gym and force myself to do as as i can. My arm almost break. After so many enegry is used. I still thinki of u. When i look at ur pic. My tears jiu drop. I look at it and ask pls dun be like tis hao ma? I reli wish tat pic will answer me. but it din not.

Where is my dardar. Where is my piggy? TT^TT
come back come bcak i miss u!! =[
Willie still love u moh..wuwuwuwu T_T
Come back~~

Heart pain pain lur =[

Lately, my lover dun reli care abt me le. She been very cold to me. Sometimes she said many things tat hurt me real deep. But its ok..i 4give her. Coz she is my lover ma. But she never get to understand the pain in me.

sometimes i reli wanna to syang her and give her hapiness and let her feel my love. But she always spoilt my mood T^T Then she come and say me spoilt her study mood. Haiz..Im reli scare tat her mama will think tat im the reason tat makes her get poor results in exam.

If she keep being like tat to me i reli wanna pen kui le. I knw im not handsome and not rich i dun get good results. But at least i got a heart for u ma rite? everything i ask u smth abt us. U never give me a complete or real answer.

I ever try and give up on u. Tat time i reli hurt. I come back for u is coz i trust tat u can change for me and care abt me. I hope tat i din do the wrong choice T^T

Pls piggy, come back to me hao ma? i reli miss ur hug hug and gud nite smile and when u sayang me. I reli miss u..pls come back to me hao ma? wuwuwu TT^TT Willie promise to be guai..willie love u..wuwu ='(